RSS
Quote
  1. But it wasn’t me… He did it!
  2. It’s not my fault, I just helped… And that’s all.
  3. I don’t reccolect at all
  4. Don’t know nothing about it.
  5. Uh, uh, you know what I mean.
  6. Shhhh – I think I hear my husband.
  7. What ya in for?
  8. Oh no you didn’t?
  9. Sirens and lights flashing in your rear view mirror that don’t go away when you stop.
  10. Promise you won’t tell anyone?
  11. Okaaaaaaaay…
  12. Damm! What’s Plan “B?”
  13. This is going to be a little uncomfortable.
  14. CLEAR!
  15. Can you put me on a payment plan?
  16. Promises you won’t get angry with me?
  17. I forgot?
  18. (Unemployed college graduate to parents) “I need to find myself”.
  19. Watch where you are going, cause there’s abandoned mine shafts around here.
  20.  I know its kinda late; Maybe I should have told you that I’m married?
  21. Is something wrong with you?
  22. You’r on your own!.
  23. I forgot my wallet.  Could you…
  24. What is that smell?  Did you take a bath?
  25. (Woman) Is it in yet?
  26. Aw @#$%&, what in the name of @#$%&* did I do?
  27. YOU DID WHAT?
  28. (Man quietly) “She bitch slapped me”.
  29. How do you fly this thing?
  30. And the best is: (Woman to Man) “We gotta talk.”

Thirty Things You Don’t Want To Ever Say or Hear

 
 

Ebonics: Enabler of the Century

Ebonics: Enabler of the century 

Woefully, long before that infamous recognition and legitimatizing “Ebonics” by the Oakland, CA school board on December 18, 1996, the degradation of English has been going on for quite some time now. We are faced with the expectation of integrating street jargon as acceptable discourse. As, the notion of maintaining basic learning expectations is now considered elitist by those who advocate Ebonics. Truth be told, the concept of Ebonics being politically correct amounts to little more than being intellectually neutered.   Uh, uh, y’ know what I mean.

 Another cute one lost it with English.. And me.                                                Another cute one lost me with street talk. 

 
 

Time for Peace

Here is one indisputable fact. Time is not on Israel’s side. As technological advancement in weaponry improves, nations such as the U.S., western Europe, as well as Israel will have initial access to these weapons. As with any product, such as movies and clothing, over production and misappropriation of the design will result in these weapons falling into the hands of terrorist and terrorist states. The Stinger SAM is an example of an advanced weapon getting into the wrong hands.  It’s a sobering thought, but visionaries know that the killing capability of high-tech non-nuclear weapons will continue to increase, yet size and detection capability of these weapons of mass production  will be substantially reduced. Lets not forget a timeless axiom which remains true to this day – “If you have the money, its yours.”  Make peace Israel, because time is shorter than you think.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 18, 2013 in Politics

 

Questions Snowden may ask while at the Moscow Airport

 

  1. Does Moscow get that cold?
  2. I was given the impression that I would have a maid, and treated like Royalty?
  3. Why are all these people looking at me?
  4. But, I though Russians like me?
  5. Why is everyone trying to give me cheese?
  6. What do you mean Iceland didn’t call?  We have the same values?
  7. I am expecting an international call soon.  No, I don’t know which country.
  8. What’s all this talk about me taking a train to Siberia?
  9. That big female police officer is smiling at me.  Do you think she likes me?
  10. Do you have a can of Raid or some type of insect spray?
  11. So that wasn’t a puppy with the beady red eyes looking at me last night?
  12. I guess I’m safe here…… Am I?
  13. Can I finish high school here, and go to college for free?
  14. Why is everyone calling me the “Terminal Man,” and asking me did I see the movie?
  15. When will my friend Vladimir Putin visit me?  I though he would be putting me up during my stay?
  16. Why must I pay to use the toilet facilities?
  17. Do you take credit cards; I’m fresh out of U.S. dollars?
  18. I don’t like sleeping on a straw mattress on the floor; do you have a full size bed?
  19. I don’t drink, but can I have some of your vodka?
  20. Doesn’t any country want me?

  21. Will NSA forward my last paycheck here?      

 Here are my thoughts regarding Snowden.  He left the only country that he would be relatively safe in.  Many other countries have ruthless people who would like to have a chat with him.  As it may be that he has damaging information on other countries; not just the United States.  We may never know, or care.  But they want to know, and they care deeply.  Though I wish he would find peace.  He won’t.  Those bumps in the night and quick footsteps behind him will always be heard. 

 
 

Gun Salesman

Dear President Obama,

On behalf of the N.R.A., I would like to thank you for your generous assistance in helping our gun sales.  Although I admit you never advocated a law restricting gun sales, every time someone lie and say you did, our gun sales multiply tenfold.  Although gun ownership is ubiquitous in the United States, “you can never have to many guns” as my granddaddy always said.  Getting back to what I was saying, the purpose of this letter is to ask you to repeat your recent statement that  “we’re going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this regardless of the politics.”  Mr. President, I fully understand the gravitas of your message.  If you don’t want to say that, it will be greatly appreciated if you would just say anything you want about gun violence, as it will definitely help our sales. Have to dash now, as my good buddy Dick Cheney and I are going on a hunting trip.

Deferentially Yours,

gun2

Wayne La Pierre
Executive Vice President
National Rifle Association
 
4 Comments

Posted by on December 27, 2012 in Political Satire

 

Will the real “Do-Nothing” Congress Stand Up….. And Leave.

Although Truman would never know that his 80th Congress was extremely productive compared to the 112TH Congress. Truman called the 1947-1948 Congress “Do-Nothing Congress.” because they passed 906 laws. However The Republican 112th Congress has now been confirmed as the least productive congress in history of the United States.  They have the glorious distinction of passing a paltry 196 laws. It must also be noted that 37 out of the 196 bills passed merely involved naming post offices, government buildings and property: Hardly a days work.  Not surprising, the 112th Congress has a public opinion ranging 10-14%.   Republicans should feel real proud that they could now claim the prestigious title of The Least Productive Congress in the History of the United States of America.  Congratulations Republicans. You have shown what you are good for – Nothing!”

 

 

 
5 Comments

Posted by on December 5, 2012 in Political Satire

 

How many ways can I say it? (Willard is a fibber)

Willard Mitt Romney has and will continue to revise his position on any and all issue to satisfy his cohorts, supporters, and when it is convenient for him to mislead them.  Mitt misrepresents the truth whenever he feels that it is necessary or when the opportunity to sway voters.  He will continue to be untruthful regardless of the fact that he is known worldwide as a liar; as, Mitt Romney is without remorse or moral turpitude.  Not only does Romney tells falsehoods incessantly, he double and triple down on his lies as if no one is aware of his falsehoods; but he recognizes that people is aware that he is dishonest and his utterances is wayward from authenticity.  This deceiver truly does not care if you call him out on his fabrications.  Truth be told, Mitt Romney insults the intelligence of others with his dishonesty; which clearly demonstrates that has no respect for anyone, not even himself.   It is significant to note that this untruthful person was nominated by the Republican Party to run for the Presidency of the United States.  They find his insincerity acceptable and downright refreshing; as being truthful is no longer required

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 1, 2012 in Politics

 

Tags:

 
Pappachoppers

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

Written by Conn M. Hallinan

The Archived Columns of Conn M. Hallinan

recoveryhealth™ - A Perfect Balance Of Health & Beauty™

#HEALTH without #MEDICINE ~ #FITNESS without #GYM ~ #BEAUTY without #COSMETIC ~ #ENERGY without #TONIC

Recent News

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

RealClearPolitics - Homepage

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

POLITICO - TOP Stories

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

FactCheck.org

Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

NewsFeed

Breaking news and updates from Time.com. News pictures, video, Twitter trends.

The Good Greatsby

The humor blog of Paul Johnson: He doesn't do it for the money. But he wouldn't object if you gave him some.

Live, Nerd, Repeat

Making life better through the perfect application of humor and nerdery

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.