To: Reince Priebus
Republican National Committee Chairman
In Re: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) a “dirty liar.”
I would like to thank you for tripling down on calling Harry Reid a “dirty liar.” Assuredly, you know that I can’t get my hands dirty, as I had my nails done to complement my perfect sideburns. And, truth be told, that’s why I have you.
Excuse me, but someone moved my garage elevator mirror. Gosh, this is disturbing. A lock of my hair may be out of place!
Ok, I am back now. One more thing, bring some “chocolate goodies” with you. Make sure that they are homemade, as the last ones you gave me didn’t look like they were homemade. And stop calling them “donuts;” that’s a vulgar word commoners use to call my chocolate goodies. Before closing, I sincerely hope that you are aware of your continued inadequate financial situation as compared to mine. I am confident that it will improve, but until then, please don’t reply to this letter, and if you must see me, I will meet you in the outdoor barn. Please don’t step on my grass on the way over; as I like my grass to be unruffled and at the right height.
Soon to be POTUS