Wackadoodles: Political Savvy American Politicians

20 Aug


When John McCain introduced Sarah Palin and “Joe the Plummer” on the political stage, they weren’t the first wackadoodle politicians unleashed, and certainly will not be the last.  If you take a gander, America is chock-full of wackadoodles.  Prominent among them are, Christine “I’m not a witch” O’Donnell;  Rick “Oops” Perry; Herman “My brother from another mother” Kane;  Allen “I see 80 commies” West;   Jan “headless bodies in desert” Brewer; and the four Joes of the Apocalypse: Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, a.k.a “Joe the Plummer;” Rep. Joe “I’m tired of hearing that crap” Walsh (R-Ill.); Joe “You lie” Wilson (R-SC); and Arizona’s Birther-in-chief, Sheriff Joe Arpaio.  The Wackadoodle-In-Chief is none other than Federal inmate Keith Judd.  Although Judd is serving a 17-½ year sentence in a Texas prison, he won 41% of the Democratic primary vote over Senator Obama in West Virginia.

 One would think that West Virginians takes a fancy to Texas felons, and Michele Bachmann’s constituents took leave of their senses.  I’ve even entertained the thought provoking ideal that Minnesotans have been so desperate for excitement since (there isn’t much to do in Minnesota.) the departure of governor James G. Janos, a.k.a Jesse Ventura, they recruited Michele Bachmann to fill this void.  After all, history has shown that Minnesotans adores colorful politicians. 

Actually, Wackadoodles are not difficult to understand. Allow me to explain. Wackadoodle politicians are absolute masters at articulating Tea Party rhetoric.  Which consist of adhering to the party’s doctrine that “Negotiation is impossible, and compromise is prohibited.” Phrases such as “We came unarmed… this time”; “Ballet or bullets… We want our Country back;”’ and “Today I’m exercising my First Amendment, tomorrow It will by my Second Amendment” are designed to raise the indignation and blood pressure of the right-wing elements of the Republican party.  As they view themselves as “true Americans”, storming the gates of “Big Government” and taking our country back, so there will be peace and prosperity across the land.

The late political Journalist, Alexander Cockburn took note of the ‘vitriol’ associated with the emergence of the Tea Party.  Rest assure, wackadoodles politicians are perceptive of the Tea Party ethos:  Offer nothing but meaningless rhetoric[1] – And ensure your utterances are void of facts and reasoning as, the slightest slip of the tongue is fatal to a Wackadoodle’s political career.  Their goal is not to propose workable solutions, laws or policies to solve our nation’s woes.  It is to deliver incendiary rhetoric to ratchet-up political discourse.  This keeps their base gleefully happy;  in line;  riled up;  attending rallies; and of course the ultimate goal, filling their coffers.  For example, shortly after he shouted “You lie!” to President Obama while he was addressing Congress, Joe Wilson (R-SC) raised almost a million dollars in donations.  If it were not for Inmate Keith Judd’s place of residence, Congressman Joe Wilson would indeed be Wackadoodle-In-Chief.  It is significant to note that political accomplishments is not the criteria for this distinguished position, otherwise Sarah “refudiate” Palin would be Wackadoodle-In-Chief.  Simply put, the coveted title of Wackadoodle-In-Chief is based upon the absurdly of how the individual reached political prominence, not the height obtained.  

Rather than suffer retribution at the hands of the Wackadoodles and their Tea Party cohorts, journalist and the news media are conspicuously quiet about increased racist, anti-Semite, and violent attitudes within the Tea Party and other right-wing splinter groups.  Even though former Republican Party chairman Jim Geer had a “Sister Souljah Moment” deploring some of his Republican cohorts as “whack-a-do, right-wing crazies,” it is unthinkable for Wackadoodles to fess-up to inappropriate behavior committed by their base.  Regardless of evidence clearly demonstrating that Wackadoodles are not effective at governing, like an isolated holey sock, they will continue to found in the American political drawer.  As they provide the necessary adrenaline for right-wing extremist.  Stupid-like-a-fox wackadoodles hear what is said about them.  They smile and say nothing, but continue to keep their Tea Party constituents trough filled to the brim with rabble-rousing rhetoric[2]

[1] “Republicans know well that a change of rhetorical pace is necessary. But efforts by their leaders to damp down the bellicosity of newly elected Tea Party types is running into the fact that the Tea Partiers have only the high volume setting on their amplifiers, just like Palin. They’re like a couple having a fight at a funeral; politely sotto voce, then suddenly bursting out fortissimo with their plaints and accusations.” 
― Alexander Cockburn

[2] “RHETORIC The art of making life less believable; the calculated use of language, not to alarm but to do full harm to our busy minds and properly dispose our listeners to a pain they have never dreamed of. The context of what can be known establishes that love and indifference are forms of language, but the wise addition of punctuation allows us to believe that there are other harms – the dash gives the reader the clear signal they are coming.” 
― Ben Marcus


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Posted by on August 20, 2012 in Political Satire


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Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

Written by Conn M. Hallinan

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