Category Archives: Political Satire

Lies, Dam Lies, and Trump Lies

Lies, Dam Lies, and Trump Lies

Although the U.S. News and World Report describes Trump’s disingenuous statements as “casual elasticity with the truth,” such lighthearted and polished explanations should only be reserved for youngsters who tell “stories, fibs, untruths.” Or, as the British call fabrications of the truth: “Porkies.”   In Trump’s case, lets call it like it is — Outright dam lies!  Lies flows smoothly from Trumps lips so often and so fast that the star-crossed news media can’t keep up with them.   Voters and citizens throughout the world continue to watch speechless, jaw-dropped newscasters gasping with “deer in the headlight stares,” not knowing how to keep up with the Donald’s fleet-of-tongue lies. Truth be told, Trump has mastered his own style of lying by crafting the infamous Bernie Madoff’s pyramid scheme with an enhanced style of Reality show splendor.

 Allow me to explain. New York Times writer Nicholas Kristof wrote that “We should be guard dogs, not lap dogs, and when the public sees Trump as more honest than Clinton, something has gone wrong.[1]” A classic example of Trump’s recent showmanship, and his ability to control others occurred when he met with Dr. Oz to review his health and exercise habits. The deluded Dr. Oz asked him: How do you stay healthy on the campaign trail? Trump’s replied “When I’m speaking in front of 15 and 20,000 people and I’m up there using a lot of motion, I guess in it’s own way, it’s a pretty healthy act. I really enjoy doing it. A lot of times these rooms are very hot, like saunas, and I guess that is a form of exercise and, you know?” Did Doctor Oz challenge Trump’s statement that using a lot of [hand and arm] motions was not exercise? No, of course not. The good doctor humbly nodded his approval and meekly changed the subject.

Unlike the loyal followers of his ‘dog Whistle’ who drools when fed scraps of red meat rhetoric, Devious Donald leads the news medial around on his ‘Tweet Leash’. On September 16th, at 9:32 AM he pulled off one of the most impressive political hustles in American history by tweeting “I am now going to the brand new Trump International, Hotel D.C. for a major statement.”   His mark was directed to the ever-gullible news media. In hindsight, it’s remarkable how duping the highly educated and susceptible reporters required no other shills (accomplices in scams), except the unsuspecting news reporters. Any self-respecting flimflam scoundrel will verify that the best con game is when the unknowing accomplices are also the marks.

Upon receiving Dapper Donald’s tweet to assemble for a command performance, naive news reporters soared from far-flung distances to their Donald’s beckoning. It didn’t take long for Trump Tower to be surrounded with massive semi-tractor trailers, and vans with satellite dish reaching two stories blocking out the sun around Trump’s new tower. With cameramen in tow, they obediently filed into their assigned area and waited impatiently for the sizzling news to be articulated by their handler: The Donald. Knowing Trump, it would be unthinkable if he did not take advantage of his marks by using them for free live coverage to promote his new hotel. Why shouldn’t he enrich himself? After all, he was the Donald. Keeping the suspense elevated, in a soft voice he pitched the hotel eloquently, pointing out the beauty and the many amenities. After using free media to pitch his hotel, he wasn’t finished toying with their eagerness. As a prelude, to his “major statement,” Trump fed them generously with Patriotism by marching out a cadre of decorated generals and Medal of Honor recipients. When the climatic moment did finally arrive, Trump stated:

“Hillary Clinton and her campaign of 2008 started the birther controversy[2]. I finished it.  President Barack Obama was born in the United States.  Period. Now we all want to get back to making America strong again.”

Immediately after his brief proclamation, Dapper Donald exited the stage faster than a Pop Tart® springing out of a toaster; leaving the news media still salivating over their mikes in anticipation of a “major statement.” First to come out of shock was Jake Tapper from CNN. He said it best by announcing that Trump had pulled a “political Rick roll.[3]” Do you think that the Donald would slip away quietly, leaving his marks confused and dumfounded? If so, then you don’t know Con artist Donald.   Employing his favorite tool, the “tweet leash,” Trump gloated mockingly about his marks saying that “Donald Trumps Birther event is the greatest trick he ever pulled.”  Upon reading the tweet, a sensible person would think that the bamboozled news media would cowboy/cowgirl-up and dump their teaser. Not so. They whined, griped, and protested their outrage of being deceived on twitter and their media outlets. Later on, still whimpering and venting their frustration, they dried their tears and meekly trotted after their oppressor.

Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)
9/17/16, 1:15 AM

“Donald Trump’s birther event is the greatest trick he’s ever pulled”

Despite what one feels about him, Donald Trump built an epic political pyramid scheme with the same appeal and pretentiousness of his reality show.   All the while beating out sixteen Republican presidential contenders; most being seasoned politicians. One must remember that the Donald is a master of ad hominem; articulating veiled threats; lying; manipulating his “tweet leashed” news media; and feeding red meat rhetoric to his loyal disciples. How does he do it?

First, know that Trump has no reservations about telling a pack of lies and calling his opponents “Lyin’ Ted,” “Little Marco”, “Low Energy” Bush, “low life,” and a host of other names. He avoids honest questioners and those that displease him.   For example, when Mika Brzezinski, Co-host of Morning Joe called him on his statements; he releases a tirade of remarks. Stating that she “has gone wild with hate,” “very insecure,” “clown,” “off the wall,” “neurotic,” “not very bright,” and a “mess!“ When caught in a lie, the crafty Donald either double down, tell another lie, or he makes outrageous and insulting statements. Whereby, the hapless news medial drops challenging his previous lies and shocking statements, and pick up Trump’s new disingenuous assertion.  Again, before they can fact check and call him on it, the wily Donald is two steps ahead of them with a whole new parcel of new juicy lies and outrageous statements — leaving the news media again speechless in a mired of lies.

I’ve been told that Politifacts has hired extra staff to keep up with Trump’s perpetual contemptible statements and lies.  As, he has so many “Paints on Fire” lies most cognitive readers would think that the Donald’s pants should have burst in flames a long time ago.   As noted on the link below, Trump has broken the Lie Bank.  As, 54% of his statements are false or paints on fire.   And only a paltry 15% have been rated “True” or “Mostly True.”

                     Donald Trump    Hillary Clinton *

True                      4                             16

Mostly True              10                                48

Total                        35                                88


Mostly False            28                               16

False                        65                               15

Pants on Fire          30                               1

Total                        158                           120

Remember, these rankings only include the statements we’ve fact-checked after Clinton and Trump formally entered the race for president. — Politifacts

According to Politifacts[4] at the web sites below, Donald Trump has generated a new level of lying. When it comes to Trump, the word ‘lie’ does not suffice, nor is ‘dam lie’ adequate. I propose that we call such lying utterances as “Trump Lies.” The purpose of these lies, like all long con schemes, he has been calculating this con game with the ultimate goal of swindling the presidency of United from the American people.


[1] “When A Crackpot Runs for President,”,9/15/16

[2] ” “There is no record that Clinton herself or anyone within her campaign ever advanced the charge that Obama was not born in the United States,” — ABC News.

and Politifact.

[3] To post a misleading link with a subject that promises to be exciting or interesting. Or, an internet scam.

[4] *…


“Release the Hounds” Alt-Right

“Release the Hounds” Alt-Right

If one were to take a pragmatic look at Donald Trump’s ideology of the world around him, we would see that his beliefs mirror that of the character Charles Montgomery ‘Mr. Burns’ in the television series ‘The Simpsons.’  I thought about the time when Mr. Burns said “You know Smithers, I think I’ll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage….. When pigs fly.”   Sure as the day follow night if it didn’t remind me of the Donald’s remark that “I’m really rich”.  I haven’t forgotten when Homer said, “You know, Mr. Burns, you’re the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny. ”  And, Mr. Burns, being the egoistic person he is, replies, “Yes, but I’d trade it all for a little more.”  Again, another reminder of Trump’s endless “I am rich” arrogance.  Of course Mr. Burn’s most memorable remark inquiring, “What was I laughing about? Ah yes, that crippled Irishman” was reminiscent of how Trump publically vilified a disabled person.   Mr. Burns said  “Hmm, one dollar for eternal happiness. Mmm… I’d be happier with the dollar.”  The Donald did one better; he is now offering a Special 2016 Election Dollar Bill featuring… himself of course.   Mr. Burn’s “Cheating is the gift man gives himself” is no different from Trump’s duplicitous dealings with contractors and the American public.

Regardless what they choose to call themselves, Tea-Republicans, Trump Republicans, or their newly polished obscured political trademark — Alternative Right, or more commonly know as the ‘Alt-Right.” Their brand is nothing more than a disingenuous and pitiful attempt to describe their surreptitious movement.  Which is nothing more than a conduit for slim dredged from the sewers of Trump World filled with anti-Semites, Birthers, White supremacists, and sewer grade radical principles.   

Those who answer the call of the Dog Whistle do not, and most likely will never know the ideology of the artful Donald’s approach to slay experienced moderates like “Low Energy Jeb Bush and Ohio’s Governor Kasich, as well as ultra-conservative evangelical Republican rivals Lyn’ Ted, Lil’ Marco, and Carly Fiorina.  Even when Trump’s Republican rivals told the truth, which didn’t happen often, Trump mangled the truth and ran roughshod over them.  Causing them to fold like a K-Mart Blue Light Special defective lawn chair.   For example, John Kasich said “But for the 11 million people – come on folks – we all know you can’t pick them up and ship them back across the border.  It’s a silly argument.”    Of course it was a “silly argument” to most Americans.   But devious Donald would have none of that.  Throwing out a chunk of red meat trump crowed, ” “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, Believe me — and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”  They devoured his red meat rant whole without chewing. And, Trump hasn’t looked back since.

Cutting to the chase, the ultra right-wing represented by the Alt-Right, endorsed one of the greatest snake oil selling con man of the 21st Century.  It may surprise many people that I am an admirer of W.F. Buckley brand of conservatism.  I admire his ideals of civility in political discourse, even though I may disagree with his brand of conservatism; which is void of hate, divisiveness, bigotry, and racism as demonstrated by Trump’s rhetoric.  Sadly, Trump’s supporters fail to realize that he is a master of classical rhetoric — what Plato called “the art of winning the soul by discourse.” And yes, while Donald Trump may seem to be a clown or buffoon, he is in fact one of the most effective practitioners of persuasive rhetoric the political world has seen in a long time. If he wins the GOP nomination it will be in large part because of his mastery of rhetoric.”[1]

Trump’s flock continues to heed his rhetoric every day without pause to seek out the validity of his comments.   Why would they want to know the truth?  Because it validates the existence of others in their world to contrasts without guilt or remorse those they dislike, hate, or appear inferior to them.  Daily feeding is necessary to garner funding and dedication of Trump followers. It would be unthinkable for him to go to Mexico and return the same day, and not provide juicy morsels for his flock.  As demonstrated upon his return, he provided generious portions of adulterated red meat to the faithful.  Come November Election Day, ” Release the hounds” Alt-Right [2] will be the cry and hue from master Trump.  Alt-Right Trump supporters will lunge to fulfill their foolish errand. But they will falter and fail. Never realizing that the red meat they were being fed by a carnival barker had no sustenance needed for the progression of humankind, much less beneficial for this nation.  Donald Trump does not practice civility while engaging in political discourse — The necessity for comradely among all Americans.   Being humble or respectful towards others who may disagree with him is not in the vocabulary of a con man who avoids the truth by releasing the hounds of lies. 

[1] “Think Progress”, March 28, 2016

[2] “Occasionally, Mr. Burns orders Smithers to “release the hounds“, so as to let his vicious guard dogs attack any intruders, enemies or even invited guests.”


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Posted by on September 7, 2016 in Human Interest, Political Satire, Politics


The Dog Whistle

The Dog Whistle

“We Feed Adulterated Raw Red meat* to The Republican Party Base”

EDITOR: Pappachoppers

If you believe….

  1. That President Obama was not born in America…
  2. That President Obama should visit a natural disaster early regardless that needed resources are taken reverted away from where it’s needed.
  3. That there is massive voter fraud in the United States.
  4. That Obama is going to take away your guns.
  5. That the U.S. election system is rigged.
  6. That Obama founded ISIS.
  7. That Hillary Clinton is the co-founder of ISIS….
  8. That “The Obama administration was actively supporting Al Qaeda in Iraq, the terrorist group that became the Islamic State.”
  9. That Russia is not in Crimea.
  10. The 2016 federal omnibus-spending bill “funds illegal immigrants coming in the U.S.
  11. Hillary Clinton’s plan is that “illegal immigrants convicted of committing crimes get to stay.”
  12. Hillary Clinton is “proposing to print instant work permits for millions of illegal immigrants to come in and take everybody’s jobs, including low-income African-Americans.”
  13. One percent of what Rudy Giuliani says.
  14. Trump “will get over 95 percent of the African-American vote” in 4 years as he claims.

Then you are a True Red Meat Trump supporter who heard and believed in the call of the Dog Whistle….  

*Lies, hate, fear, racism, anger, sexism, and American is no longer a great place.


Posted by on August 26, 2016 in Political Satire, Politics



A Trump In The Night

A Trump In The Night

“He’s [John McCain] not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured” mocked Donald Trump at the Family Leadership Summit in Ames, Iowa. It can’t be said that Trump’s outburst was unprovoked. It was likely in response to Sen. John McCain’s statement that Trump “fired up the crazies” in his Phoenix immigration rally the previous week. McCain, known for his puppy dog “pitiful me” posture, should have known that speaking ill of ‘The Donald” would result in instant brutal retribution.

Should Trump’s latest shock assertion surprise anyone? Of course not! Nonetheless, Republican leaders scampered around to figure out a response to their brethren’s antics. After all, the American public was waiting for a strong condemnation of Trump’s verbal assault on their Arizona war hero. Party leaders and candidates alike were acutely aware that any statement made by them mustn’t infuriate their unruly associate. Well aware that his tongue cuts deep, leaving no remorse in his wake. And, the potential of Trump running as an independent would be devastating to the party. The paucity of their response was evident when they affirmed that:

“Senator McCain is an American hero because he served his country and sacrificed more than most can imagine. Period. There is no place in our party or our country for comments that disparage those who have served honorably.” 

As anticipated, there was no mention of the incident. This artfully crafted statement by the Republican National Committee’s Chief Strategist and Communications Director, Sean Spicer, was never intended to rebuke their wayward stepbrother’s proclamation. Even when the news media kicked up a fuss and cried foul, few Republicans condemned their rebellious sibling. Most tweeted a few supporting words for their besieged brother McCain; then hunkered down, hoping that the wrath of ‘the Donald’ will pass over them.

Rick Santorum did what any red-blooded, strong-willed, “I’m one of y’all” Republicans would do in this situation. He tweeted “@SenJohnMcCain is an American hero, period.” Not mentioning Trump, he hastily shut off his phone while trotting into the “@usnews newsroom for a friendly game of peek-a-boo.” Evidently, brother Trump’s name is no longer in Rick’s vocabulary. In lockstep with Rick, Presidential candidate Ben Carson, MD also refused to comment on Trumps criticism of McCain. It could be said that that the good doctor joined with brother Trump in thrashing McCain when asked if McCain was a war hero. “It depends on your definition of a war hero” was his medicinal replied as he too scurried away to hide behind his aides. Aspiring for Number One Observatory Circle Doctor Carson?

Silly stepping really got into full swing when liberal blog site Huffington Post broke into the Fox trot. They trotted down the path of selective censorship like Fox news by announcing the following: 

“After watching and listening to Donald Trump since he announced his candidacy for president, we have decided we won’t report on Trump’s campaign as part of The Huffington Post’s political coverage. Instead, we will cover his campaign as part of our Entertainment section. Our reason is simple: Trump’s campaign is a sideshow. We won’t take the bait. If you are interested in what The Donald has to say, you’ll find it next to our stories on the Kardashians and The Bachelorette.”  

In making their decision, Huffington Post failed to realize the effect of Donald Trump’s presence in the GOP election; his polling in the national political stage; as well as issues he raises.

Truth be told, Trump will not likely get the nod from his GOP contemporaries at the upcoming convention in Cleveland, Ohio. Yet, according to Fox rules, only 9 other GOP candidates besides Trump will get the coveted invite to the smack down stage in Cleveland, Ohio on Aug. 6th. If pure of heart Democrats and Pollyanna independents think that Republicans presidential contenders are hoping that Trump abide by the usual rules of political decorum in the debate, think again.   They will be overjoyed to see him lash the liberal off their rival Jeb Bush.

Republican strategist Nelson Warfield brought clarity to Bush’s destiny at the upcoming debate when he said “Trump presents a challenge for Bush because he’s a hand grenade.” Actually, Warfield was reverent in his description of the upcoming skirmish. Trump previously describing Bush as a “total disaster,” and asking, “How the hell can you vote for this guy?” clearly demonstrates the chance of Trump making nice in the debate is slim and none. And, it’s just so happen that slim just left town.   So, get your popcorn, beer, and a good seat, because, it’s going to be a hot time in Cleveland town that night.


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Posted by on July 21, 2015 in Political Satire, Politics


Ebonics: Enabler of the Century

Ebonics: Enabler of the century 

Woefully, long before that infamous recognition and legitimatizing “Ebonics” by the Oakland, CA school board on December 18, 1996, the degradation of English has been going on for quite some time now. We are faced with the expectation of integrating street jargon as acceptable discourse. As, the notion of maintaining basic learning expectations is now considered elitist by those who advocate Ebonics. Truth be told, the concept of Ebonics being politically correct amounts to little more than being intellectually neutered.   Uh, uh, y’ know what I mean.

 Another cute one lost it with English.. And me.                                                Another cute one lost me with street talk. 


Questions Snowden may ask while at the Moscow Airport


  1. Does Moscow get that cold?
  2. I was given the impression that I would have a maid, and treated like Royalty?
  3. Why are all these people looking at me?
  4. But, I though Russians like me?
  5. Why is everyone trying to give me cheese?
  6. What do you mean Iceland didn’t call?  We have the same values?
  7. I am expecting an international call soon.  No, I don’t know which country.
  8. What’s all this talk about me taking a train to Siberia?
  9. That big female police officer is smiling at me.  Do you think she likes me?
  10. Do you have a can of Raid or some type of insect spray?
  11. So that wasn’t a puppy with the beady red eyes looking at me last night?
  12. I guess I’m safe here…… Am I?
  13. Can I finish high school here, and go to college for free?
  14. Why is everyone calling me the “Terminal Man,” and asking me did I see the movie?
  15. When will my friend Vladimir Putin visit me?  I though he would be putting me up during my stay?
  16. Why must I pay to use the toilet facilities?
  17. Do you take credit cards; I’m fresh out of U.S. dollars?
  18. I don’t like sleeping on a straw mattress on the floor; do you have a full size bed?
  19. I don’t drink, but can I have some of your vodka?
  20. Doesn’t any country want me?

  21. Will NSA forward my last paycheck here?      

 Here are my thoughts regarding Snowden.  He left the only country that he would be relatively safe in.  Many other countries have ruthless people who would like to have a chat with him.  As it may be that he has damaging information on other countries; not just the United States.  We may never know, or care.  But they want to know, and they care deeply.  Though I wish he would find peace.  He won’t.  Those bumps in the night and quick footsteps behind him will always be heard. 


Gun Salesman

Dear President Obama,

On behalf of the N.R.A., I would like to thank you for your generous assistance in helping our gun sales.  Although I admit you never advocated a law restricting gun sales, every time someone lie and say you did, our gun sales multiply tenfold.  Although gun ownership is ubiquitous in the United States, “you can never have to many guns” as my granddaddy always said.  Getting back to what I was saying, the purpose of this letter is to ask you to repeat your recent statement that  “we’re going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this regardless of the politics.”  Mr. President, I fully understand the gravitas of your message.  If you don’t want to say that, it will be greatly appreciated if you would just say anything you want about gun violence, as it will definitely help our sales. Have to dash now, as my good buddy Dick Cheney and I are going on a hunting trip.

Deferentially Yours,


Wayne La Pierre
Executive Vice President
National Rifle Association

Posted by on December 27, 2012 in Political Satire


Your word is your bond: It should not embody duplicity

Written by Conn M. Hallinan

The Archived Columns of Conn M. Hallinan


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